This article is a bit longer than normal, but covers an extraordinarily important concept that will really change your future, as long as you choose to adopt it. So grab your favorite beverage and make yourself comfortable...
Don't set goals yet
Yes, I mean it. As soon as someone mentions goal-setting at this time of year - and especially “New Year’s Resolutions” - I cringe. In my opinion, the first month or two into the new year is not the time a time to make rash and sometimes radical goals. After all you've just been “partying” for several weeks and are not in your “normal” frame of mind. So, my recommendation is to leave the goal setting until the end of February or March when you are back into your routine.
That doesn’t mean do nothing in January. You can be thinking things through and getting your head around what you really want in 2020 (and the next decade). We will have a few things to help in this area in the coming weeks. Maybe even some ways of doing this that make it more palatable for those of us who normally hate planning and goals setting, ‘cause it don’t work, right? Wrong! It does work if we work on the plan in small steps.
Why can't everyone have what they want?
Now to move on to one of my favorite topics. I want to explain BEing, DOing and HAVing. I touched on this concept in the last article when I mentioned people who win Lotto and can’t handle the money so they lose it all in a couple of years, sometimes less. They may even be miserable, have family arguments, breakups, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture.
What happens is that they can’t BE the kind of person and DO the actions they need to, in order to HAVE (i.e. keep!) all that money.
Anything that is a massive change in your life can potentially cause issues, pain, suffering and can even break up happy relationships. So if you think your goals are going to create big life changes, short-term or longer-term, you will need to work on your thinking around those changes. Consider what you and your loved ones will need to do to be happy with the change you're aiming for and be able to cope/work with it.
Bear in mind that to be meaningful, not all changes in life or in business need to be dramatic, epic or massive. However, while minor change is easy to accomplish, the results may be only minor as well.
What do you think you’ll need to do to move successfully from where you are now to where you want to be by the end of the year or the end of the decade? I assume you won’t be setting small goals, like I want a 3% pay rise, I want to add an additional bedroom to the house. If so then you can stop reading now because you will cope easily with that change.
However, if your plans for your life are the type of financial freedom we’ve discussed, you will need to read on and start working through the changes you will need in both your thinking and the way you do things.
So here’s the rub: in order to HAVE anything in life we probably all recognize that we have to DO something to obtain it or achieve it. If you want financial freedom, first you must invest. If you want people to follow you, first you must lead. (This includes your loved ones.) If you want respect, first you must earn it.
No matter what you want, you need to DO something in order to HAVE it.
Not just DOing
Now let’s look at this in a little more depth. DOing is not the only thing you will need to change in order to HAVE what you want. You must BE the person who would have these things, the life, the freedom, whatever you desire. But it’s not an on/off switch. You can't just suddenly BE. You must BEcome.
To BE, you must develop the identity, beliefs and values that the person who has those things you want. But don’t worry. I’m not suggesting you change your personality or who you are deep down, just recommending that you add the knowledge and thought processes necessary to deal successfully with the new life you are planning.
Let’s think about the Lotto winner we touched on earlier. Would they have lost all the money/lifestyle/family or whatever if they had already had the knowledge, mindset and understanding of how to be a millionaire?
The problem was that they didn’t BEcome the “millionaire” in their own mind and hence neither they nor their family were ready for the massive change, when they suddenly had access to massive money.
Challenge your beliefs in order to BE what you need
Let’s talk a bit more about BEcoming. Everyone has an identity that they have developed, usually at a very young age. That identity has values and BEliefs that come from your parents, friends, school and your experiences. If we take that “unlucky” lotto winner again, they probably had certain unhelpful values and beliefs about money that had developed in their minds.
For all of us, from a very young age and all through life, in fact, we are learning how we feel and what we believe about money. Take a phrase like “money is the root of all evil”. Really, it’s not – however evil can definitely arise when evil people get hold of money and use it for evil ends. And there’s the term “filthy rich”. That comes from the old term “filthy lucre”, meaning money that had been obtained dishonorably, but in some minds it’s become a general term for being rich and so the idea of “filth” is then associated with money.
And what about “stinking rich”? This phrase originally came from the wealthy being buried with their coffins open, just in case they had been interred prematurely(!). However the modern definition according to Webster’s is extremely rich : having so much money that one's wealth is disgusting or offensive.
It's not that money smells bad. Neither is it disgusting or offensive. It’s just money: bits of paper, or bits and bytes. It’s the way it’s used that varies.
The rest of your life is no different. Let’s say you’re in sales and you believe that customers are always looking for a discount. If so, I’m afraid you will attract that sort of customer precisely because of your belief. I’ve seen this so many times. Or have you ever bought a new car and then seen loads of the same model and color as yours? There’s nothing magic happening here – it’s just your brain being subconsciously aware of and noticing that type of car. (It’s your brain’s “RAS” and we’ll talk about this more in a future article because it’s interesting and important to understand.)
Let’s look at a different example. For instance, you may be up for promotion and you believe that managers know all the answers and don’t need to listen to their people! How do you think you will act when you become a manager yourself?
In order to HAVE things that are outside your norm, outside your “comfort zone”, you have to develop the beliefs and values appropriate to having – and keeping – those things. If you want to be a millionaire, doesn’t it make sense that you will need to have the right attitude to money, know how to handle, grow and protect your millions?
It's not just about money
In order to HAVE the amazing life you're planning, you must develop the knowledge, understanding and beliefs that attract the type of people you need around you to support you and your loved ones in your planned life. Let’s say you’ve decided to start your own business:
What does an amazing customer look like? How do you feel about them? Do they give you loads of referrals, do they give you great feedback, are they your greatest fan?
What's the culture you want in your business and what does an amazing employee look like that will fit in with that culture? Are they committed to your business, to your vision? Would they follow you but also give feedback when required?
The definition is specific to your business. Only you can define for yourself the characteristics of your amazing stakeholders.
What now?
There's so much more to this topic, but I'm going to stop here for now and add more in other articles. If you can't wait and want to read about how this all fits together with goal setting and changing your life, I recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear. Get it here, now.
I really hope this article makes you pause and think, because what I’ve covered here applies to literally everything in your life. Pick anything at all - if your attitude or actions are not aligned with the need, then you will not achieve it in the way you imagined. Like, if you want amazing kids, you don’t tell them they’re useless every day!
So part of your “homework” is to think at a high level where you want to be in 1, 2, 5 and 10 years from now. I bet this will involve some major changes to your lifestyle and in what you need to BE, what you need to DO in order to HAVE and hang on to these changes. So, if part of your vision is to be wealthy, then you need think about what changes you will need to make to BE, DO and HAVE that.
It may mean you need to change some attitudes, some beliefs, acquire some knowledge of finance, the markets, how to invest, owning and running a business, etc, etc. You get the picture. The same thing applies to most of the major changes necessary to achieve your new life and the financial freedom you want.
So by the end of the next week, write down in a notebook a description of the long term future that you and yours are looking for. For example: no money worries, travel when and where you want, have a business that works without you, have your family around you all the time, not just for dinner and breakfast. So go ahead - design your life and we will be back to work with you to attain it. If you are still having problems getting motivated check our our article on procrastination - yep just click here!
Note: We may be compensated if you purchase a product recommended. It won't cost you any more than if you went direct. This is one of the ways we finance our business, which enables us to share our knowledge and advice through this website. We can teach you how to do this too!
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